

People typically think the negative consequences of addressing a touchy subject outweigh any good that may result. Rather than confront the nurse, the manager routinely sent a second nurse to check on the patient after the first nurse left the patient's room. Hale recalled an extreme case involving a manager who oversaw a nurse considered dangerously incompetent. It can seem easier to put off the talk if the other party may be confrontational.

Difficult conversations with a teammate ranked second highest, after those with a boss and ahead of conversations with senior leaders, direct reports, customers and HR. Proximity to the person you're having problems with causes significant dread. "People get extra scared when they're talking to a boss or someone more senior than them of the fear of retribution," Hale pointed out. When it comes to having a crucial conversation with the boss, emotions are even stronger. Some called in sick (5.9 percent) to delay the conversation or transferred the other person to work elsewhere within the company (1.85 percent). Dancing around the topic when speaking with the other party (37 percent).Considering quitting or taking a different job (37 percent).But broken promises, unmet expectations and obnoxious behavior are nearly as difficult to tackle as tough conversations.Īn online poll of 540 people found that half of them avoided the other party-in a few cases for more than two years-rather than broach a crucial conversation in the workplace. The findings are from a survey Hale and Joseph Grenny, author of Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High (McGraw-Hill Education, 2011), conducted in September. Other head-in-the-sand tactics included: "The most common scary conversations are the ones around performance," said Justin Hale, trainer at VitalSmarts. In some cases, people would rather quit their jobs than have "the talk." The specter of having a difficult conversation about work with a boss or colleague can cause sleepless nights and feelings of dread.
